Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 8:00 PM UTC

Monday, June 8, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Lawyer Up, America.
Original: Trump nominates Todd Blanche to serve permanently as attorney general
The Guardian World 2h ago
History Repeats Itself.
Original: Gordon S Wood, Pulitzer-prize winning historian, dies after being struck by a car in Rhode Island
The Guardian World 2h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Ocean Wants Your Money Too.
Original: An inflation storm is brewing in the Pacific Ocean — and your portfolio isn’t ready
MarketWatch 2h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories

Predictable.
Original: Swansea set to sign Celtic defender Welsh
BBC Sport 2h ago