Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 12:00 PM UTC

Thursday, June 4, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Another One Bites the Dust.
Original: Former Biden official Deb Haaland wins New Mexico primary for governor
Washington Post Politics 2h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

God's Got Competition.
Original: Washington priest removed as exorcist after linking UFOs to work of demons
The Guardian World 1h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Generosity? Or Just Enabling?
Original: I want to give my brother and his kids $5,000 each. My financial adviser is reluctant. Who’s right?
MarketWatch 1h ago
Another "New Normal"? Shocking.
Original: Tech is flashing a warning sign last seen in 2020. Strategist Larry McDonald sees a massive rotation coming.
MarketWatch 1h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Cannes Dreams of Hollywood’s Next Meltdown.
Original: Thierry Fremaux Reflects on Cannes 2026, Hollywood ‘Restructuring,’ ‘Club Kid’ Thriving, Netflix’s Possible Comeback and the Bolloré Controversy
Variety 1h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories