Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 8:00 AM UTC

Thursday, June 4, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Another Politician. Surprise.
Original: Democrat Angela Gonzales-Torres advances to the general election for U.S. House in California's 34th Congressional District
ABC News Politics 2h ago
Lawyer Up, America.
Original: President Trump says he will nominate Todd Blanche to serve as attorney general
NPR Politics 3h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Police Insulted. Nowak Still Dead.
Original: Minister dismisses ‘two-tier justice’ claim in light of Henry Nowak tragedy as ‘slur’ on police – UK politics live
The Guardian World 1h ago
Australia's Democracy: A $250 Million Bargain.
Original: Australia news live: Husic says Labor pile-on after Aukus criticism ‘not healthy’; ANU approved $250m cost-cutting program without ‘clear evidence’, scathing audit report says
The Guardian World 1h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

AI Now Gaslighting You. Surprise.
Original: Latest AI Rudely Interrupts Users During Chats And This Is Raising Big-Time Mental Health Questions
Forbes Business 1h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories