Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 1:00 PM UTC

Monday, June 1, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

Sounds Expensive.
Original: Universal Audio Volt 876 USB Audio Interface Review: Pro-Level Polish
Wired 2h ago

World ★ 5 stories

Mandelson's Texts: Peak British Drama.
Original: No 10 braced for ‘excruciating’ revelations as messages between Mandelson and ministers to be released – UK politics live
The Guardian World 1h ago
Another Tuesday in the Sandbox.
Original: Middle East crisis live: Israel targets southern Beirut as Kuwait condemns Iranian missile and drone attack
The Guardian World 1h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Gas Prices: Peak Performance.
Original: U.S. oil prices rise above $90 a barrel after fresh wave of attacks between U.S. and Iran
MarketWatch 1h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Starlet Notices Peasants Exist.
Original: Rosamund Pike Calls Out Audience Member for Texting During West End Show: “When I See That, It’s Hard”
Hollywood Reporter 1h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories