Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 2:00 AM UTC

Monday, June 1, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Abbott's Enthusiasm: Peak Australian.
Original: Australia news live: Tony Abbott not ‘too excited’ by One Nation’s poll surge; Melbourne film festival hacked
The Guardian World 2h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Profits Bloom. Earth Withers.
Original: Oil rises, U.S. stock futures flat as Wall Street looks to extend its winning streak
MarketWatch 3h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories