Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 12:00 PM UTC

Sunday, May 31, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

Retirement: A Novel Concept.
Original: My friend, 62, earns $20,000 a year. Should she take Social Security now — and claim survivor’s benefit at 67?
MarketWatch 2h ago
Meritocracy: It's a Suggestion.
Original: Applicants For Trump’s $1.8B Fund Include Proud Boys Leader, J6 Rioters And George Santos
Forbes Business 3h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Hip-Hop Saves Philly, Briefly.
Original: Jay-Z Brings New York Flair to Philadelphia for Triumphant Roots Picnic Performance Featuring Jazmine Sullivan, Bilal and Meek Mill: Concert Review
Variety 6h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories