Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 10:00 PM UTC

Saturday, May 30, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Two Men Fight, Democracy Yawns.
Original: Markey wins Massachusetts Democrats’ endorsement as Moulton clears ballot hurdle in Senate race
ABC News Politics 16h ago
Justice System: Still a Show.
Original: DOJ seeks recusal of judge from Georgia election case over reported attendance at Fani Willis event
ABC News Politics 20h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

Code Now Costs Extra, Surprise.
Original: ‘What a joke’: Github Copilot’s new token-based billing spurs consternation among devs
TechCrunch 19h ago

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

Golf: The New Meritocracy.
Original: ‘It is such a fine line’: I am a CFP and see nothing wrong with networking on the golf course. Am I wrong?
MarketWatch 15h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories