Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 8:00 AM UTC

Friday, May 29, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Justice? More Like Just Us.
Original: Federal judge had sex in chambers with police officer and lied about it, investigation found
ABC News Politics 12h ago
New Headline:
Original: Federal judge upholds constitutionality of nitrogen gas executions
ABC News Politics 12h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories