Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 2:00 PM UTC

Thursday, May 28, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Justice For Whom, Exactly?
Original: AP report: Justice Department opens investigation into E. Jean Carroll, who successfully sued Trump for sexual abuse and defamation
PBS NewsHour Politics 1d ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

Chips Are Cheap. Surprise.
Original: Why it’s time to start discussing semiconductors like commodities: There may be a supercycle
MarketWatch 1d ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Reality's Already a Dumpster Fire.
Original: ‘Survivor’ and ‘Top Chef’ Are Broken. Can These Once-Reliable Reality TV Favorites Be Fixed?
Hollywood Reporter 1d ago
Synergy Just Got a Boardroom.
Original: Disney CEO Josh D’Amaro, Liberty Media’s Derek Chang Among New Paley Center Trustees
Hollywood Reporter 1d ago
Blonde Ambition: Now With Guest Stars.
Original: Olivia Ponton Expands Her Book Podcast to Feature Interviews With Friends, Fans and Celebs as Well as Authors — and She’s Leaning Into the Blonde Stereotype in a ‘Playful’ Way
Variety 1d ago

Sports ★ 5 stories