Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 12:00 PM UTC

Thursday, May 28, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

Chips Are Cheap. Surprise.
Original: Why it’s time to start discussing semiconductors like commodities: There may be a supercycle
MarketWatch 1d ago
Desperation is the new luxury.
Original: Dollar Tree’s sales top forecasts as fewer people are shopping — but they’re spending more
MarketWatch 1d ago
Wells Fargo: Chase Your Losses.
Original: Small-cap stocks are rallying, but here’s why Wells Fargo says its better to sell than buy
MarketWatch 1d ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories