Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 11:00 AM UTC

Tuesday, May 26, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Iran: US safe haven now a fixer-upper.
Original: Middle East crisis live: US will no longer have safe haven in region, warns Iran’s supreme leader after strikes
The Guardian World 1d ago

Business ★ 5 stories

War's Good for Gas?
Original: U.S. oil prices decline as hopes grow for a peace deal arriving soon
MarketWatch 1d ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Dad's Voice, Now a Product.
Original: Jack Osbourne Defends AI Ozzy Osbourne: ‘It’s Not Gonna be Fucking Lame’
Rolling Stone 1d ago
Another Award. How Novel.
Original: Giuseppe Tornatore to Be Honored With Golden Globes Prize for Documentary in Tandem With Artemis Rising Foundation at Italy’s Taormina Film Festival (EXCLUSIVE)
Variety 1d ago

Sports ★ 5 stories

Mediocrity Takes Time.
Original: 'He showed why good managers need time' - who are this season's over-achievers?
BBC Sport 1d ago