Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 11:00 AM UTC

Thursday, May 14, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Maps Drawn, Souls Lost.
Original: Voters are caught in the middle as the redistricting battle intensifies
NPR Politics 3h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Coal Keeps Burning, Taxpayers Keep Paying.
Original: Budget 2026 live updates: Angus Taylor promises to index tax brackets, run coal ‘long and hard’ and scrap EV concessions in budget reply
The Guardian World 1h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Tip Jar? More Like a Black Hole.
Original: ‘Several days have passed’: The restaurant failed to process my 20% tip. Is it cheating the staff?
MarketWatch 1h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Middle-earth Beckons, Colbert's Ego Doesn't.
Original: Peter Jackson Says Stephen Colbert Pitched His ‘Lord of the Rings’ Movie Before CBS Canceled ‘The Late Show’ and They’ve Already Spent One Year Working on It
Variety 1h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories