Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 7:00 AM UTC

Thursday, May 14, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Another Banker. Shocker.
Original: News Wrap: Senate confirms Kevin Warsh as new chair of Federal Reserve
PBS NewsHour Politics 9h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

History Repeats: Shocking.
Original: Modern antisemitism built on old Jewish stereotypes and tropes, royal commission told
The Guardian World 1h ago
Australia's Budget: Subtlety Officially Died.
Original: Australia politics live: Coalition has gone ‘beyond dogwhistling’ to ‘demonising’, Labor MP says ahead of Taylor’s budget reply speech
The Guardian World 1h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Another Child Star. Wonderful.
Original: ‘Matilda the Musical’ Star Alisha Weir to Lead Coming-of-Age Comedy Feature ‘Underdogs’ (EXCLUSIVE)
Variety 1h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories