Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 2:00 AM UTC

Thursday, May 14, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Daddy Issues Bloom.
Original: Rand Paul’s son apologizes for antisemitic and anti-gay rant after accosting lawmaker
The Guardian World 15m ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Tears and Turbos: Another Sequel Beckons.
Original: Vin Diesel Cries Remembering Paul Walker at ‘The Fast and the Furious’ Cannes Midnight Screening: ‘I Pray That in Your Life You Have a Brother Like Paul’
Variety 59m ago

Sports ★ 5 stories