Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 12:00 AM UTC

Thursday, May 14, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Another Banker. Shocker.
Original: News Wrap: Senate confirms Kevin Warsh as new chair of Federal Reserve
PBS NewsHour Politics 2h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Australia: Now With Extra Exclusion.
Original: Australia politics live: Taylor reveals plan to block noncitizens from access to 17 benefits including paid parental leave
The Guardian World 1h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Family Values, Apparently.
Original: Mike Lawler Says Rand Paul’s Son Hurled ‘Disgusting’ Antisemitic Insults In Reported Drunk Tirade
Forbes Business 1h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Golf. Still a thing, I guess.
Original: On the Scene at the 2026 PGA Championship: What to Know About This Year’s Tournament and How to Watch It Online Free
Variety 1h ago
Another Book Ruined, Naturally.
Original: ‘Off Campus’ Boss and Star Ella Bright Break Down Dean and Allie’s Surprise Role in Season 1, Changes From the Book and [SPOILER]’s Shocking Introduction
Variety 1h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories