Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 8:00 PM UTC

Wednesday, May 13, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Another Banker. Shocker.
Original: Senate confirms Trump pick Warsh as chairman of the Federal Reserve, following Powell
PBS NewsHour Politics 1h ago
Politicians Find Fraud—Shocking.
Original: WATCH: Vance and Oz announce numerous moves on Medicaid and Medicare fraud, focusing on Democratic-run states
PBS NewsHour Politics 1h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Business ★ 5 stories

Fortunes Pile Up. Panic Later.
Original: A highly concentrated stock market is supposed to be scary. What should you do about it?
MarketWatch 1h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories