Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 4:00 PM UTC

Wednesday, May 13, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Loyalty's a Performance Review, Apparently.
Original: Starmer has ‘full confidence’ in Streeting despite health secretary’s allies saying he is planning to resign – UK politics live
The Guardian World 2h ago
Europe's New Fortress of Solitude.
Original: Slovakia closes border crossing with Ukraine amid warnings of further Russian strikes – Europe live
The Guardian World 2h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories

Fixes? Sure, Jan.
Original: Afcon final 'deficiencies' dealt with - Caf president Motsepe
BBC Sport 3h ago