Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 8:00 AM UTC

Tuesday, May 12, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Prayers Up, Ratings Up.
Original: Trump is getting another medical checkup at the end of May, the White House says
ABC News Politics 2h ago
Nature? Just a nuisance now.
Original: Trump administration cancels rule that made conservation a 'use' of public lands
ABC News Politics 2h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Starmer Listens. We're All Doomed.
Original: Minister says Starmer is ‘listening’ but refuses to say if PM will stay on ahead of critical cabinet meeting – UK politics live
The Guardian World 1h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Smile Now, They'll Meme You Later.
Original: Barry Keoghan on Returning to Cannes, Leaving ‘Peaky Blinders’ and Moving Past Online Abuse: ‘I Want to Have a Smile and Enjoy the Moment’
Variety 1h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories