Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 11:00 AM UTC

Saturday, May 9, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Reshuffle the Deck Chairs.
Original: Starmer gives Brown and Harman new roles as pressure grows over election mauling – UK politics live
The Guardian World 1h ago
Art. Grief. Rinse. Repeat.
Original: Gaza at the Venice Biennale: Where language falls short, threads take over
Al Jazeera 1h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

$100,000? Maybe buy a nicer coffin.
Original: ‘The S&P 500 seems to be doing particularly well’: I’m 66. Is this a good time to invest $100,000 in the stock market?
MarketWatch 2h ago

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Sports ★ 5 stories