Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 2:00 AM UTC

Saturday, May 9, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Democracy: Now With Extra Steps.
Original: Virginia's Supreme Court tosses voter-approved redistricting plan in blow to Democrats
PBS NewsHour Politics 4h ago
Nature's Next Trophy.
Original: Trump is lifting restrictions on hunting in national parks and other areas
PBS NewsHour Politics 5h ago

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Oil, Diplomacy, and Convenient Escalation.
Original: Middle East crisis live: US fires on two Iranian-flagged oil tankers it claims tried to violate blockade; US to mediate Israel-Lebanon talks
The Guardian World 1h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Still Got It, Apparently.
Original: Mick Jagger Reveals Which Zara Larsson Song Got Him Hooked on Her Music
Rolling Stone 3h ago

Sports ★ 5 stories