Because the news cycle never sleeps, but we wish it would.

Edition · 5:00 AM UTC

Tuesday, May 5, 2026

30 sarcastic headlines, curated by AI from the day's wire. Click any headline to read the original story at the source.

Politics ★ 5 stories

Tech ★ 5 stories

World ★ 5 stories

Oil Slick Diplomacy.
Original: US strikes Iranian fast boats as Iran attacks UAE oil facility
BBC World 23h ago

Business ★ 5 stories

Entertainment ★ 5 stories

Another Hero’s Journey. How Novel.
Original: ‘The Odyssey’ Trailer: Christopher Nolan Unveils Epic New Footage of Cyclops, Evil Robert Pattinson, Charlize Theron and More
Variety 23h ago
Money Can't Buy Taste, Apparently.
Original: Taraji P. Henson Criticizes Celebs Attending Jeff Bezos-Backed Met Gala: ‘So Confused. WTF Are We Doing?’
Variety 1d ago

Sports ★ 5 stories